Turns your face old
What Fresh Damnation Is This? I Don’t Give A … I was horrified when I came across a site recently called ‘In20Years.com’ that offers, and I quote, …our magical engine turns your face old automatically…
It what? Magical? I heard myself exclaim. Why? Do I really want to subject myself to such a confronting image and shock my poor system into shutting down? I’m hopeful I’ll see this proposed end result one day of my own accord. The very thought of seeing that computer generated sight in real time would age me twenty years in two seconds flat. As Groucho Marx said, getting older is no problem – you just have to live long enough. Yesiree, and looking twenty years into the future could certainly jeopardise my longevity, not to mention my poor old self-image – old being the operative word.
As I’ve declared in past Ruby ramblings, I’m yet to see the advantages of getting older. Aging gracefully is an oxymoron in my humble estimation. Maybe there are two advantages, but just maybe. Firstly, no longer having to give a damn about stuff that once really, really mattered; and, oh yes, getting into the movies at a discounted rate! Do you remember when you sang along in 1967 with The Beatles - When I’m Sixty-Four …when I get older, losing my hair many years from now...? Ha-ha, very funny back then, but not so funny now, methinks. Well, hello, if you are nodding your head and smiling then you’ve probably faced that confronting number already. In fact, you may have even surpassed the sixty-four-year milestone. Who ever said age is only a number has a lot to answer for. Well of course it’s only a number, but this is such a big, big number.
So, what is it that you don’t need to give a damn about at this ripe old age? Everything, really - you can do whatever you want, and not give a damn about what others say or think. Breaking the social norms is the way to go. It’s okay to eat a whole packet of Tim Tams per episode whilst working your way through both series of True Detective. And eat that hamburger with the lot; damn it, eat three if you want. Sure, there will be consequences, but you don’t give a damn, remember? So don’t give a damn about the guilt either. And did you know that you can tell really rude jokes - especially about flatulence - and get away with it? You can laugh at your own jokes too! Damn it, do whatever you want. Who really cares?
I think that’s enough damnation for the time being. I think you’ve got the idea – it’s all about me, me and me when we get older, and perhaps we don’t have to live the ‘false-self’ any longer. This false-self idea probably sounds a bit narcissistic for your liking. The dreaded false self is often generated for a number of reasons and it may be more common than you imagine. If the individual doesn’t feel as special as they’d like, then the creation of a false self is going to gain acceptance and a sense of belonging – just look at the workings of social media in creating false personas. Aging could be the catalyst for abolishing the false self - what a relief that could be! You can let it all hang out, as they used to say way back when. But I’m digressing with this false-self stuff - back to the things you’ll be too old to give a damn about.
Let’s see: give up the self-loathing; stop apologising; forget accountability; get over being socially anxious; stop regretting the past; stop looking at the bulges; wear comfortable shoes; go grey (well, maybe not); drink those cocktails with little umbrellas when others are sipping wine; don’t spend time with people you loathe; proudly say ‘Yes, I am well on the way to being that cat lady people talk about in hushed tones’; and yes, I hope to have sex again before I die. Please feel free to add your personal goals at this point, however, it maybe advisable not to share them with the family and risk being denounced and censured.
Further research tells me that ageism is alive and well. No wonder we all want to avoid the negative stereotypes and behaviours directed at the older folk. Evidently, you become invisible. I’m still not sure of the demarcation line when we are to be considered middle-aged, young-old, old-old, or really and truly old. I hope it’s not based on being a slow mover, forgetful and vague because I’m already there! Be on the look out for the following seemingly harmless phrases to which I’ve supplied an appropriate, but not so delicate response for your perusal and use: “You certainly don’t look your age” – oh really, what were you expecting a carcass?
“You need to slow down a bit” – why is that, to make you look good? “Wow, you do email!” – so you assume I’m cognitively impaired as well as technologically challenged? “So, you still cook then?” – sadly, the Meals on Wheels menu isn’t to my liking. “Really, you stayed up to watch the tennis, good for you” – yes, I can usually generate the energy to keep my eyes open after 6 pm on special occasions. Most assuredly, Rhett Butler in 1939 wasn’t really on about age when he said, “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn”, but he certainly had an attitude and knew about letting it go with the wind (not a reference to paragraph four) and maybe you can do the same. However, if that quote is a bit too antiquated, how about if I translate it into the dialogue of today’s youth? It goes like this – like, who cares; like, I don’t give a stuff; like, you know, like… yeah, like…